MOLES...they can be scary

Yes, some moles can be rather cute - the ones that crawl in the ground and look like fat, stumpy blind mice. However, moles on your body are different and can be VERY scary if you do not watch them. It is VITAL that people, especially women, get their moles checked by a dermatologist - especially if you tan (in the sun or tanning bed), are outside a lot, do not wear sunscreen, or have a family history.

I have a a lot of moles - but 3 in particular on my tummy form a triangle shape and I have had them my whole life. I guess I have grown attached to them because I am so sad to get them taken off. However, I will be going on Thursday to get the moles removed because they all resemble moles that can be a pre-cursor to cancer. My mom, grandmother, and aunt have all had melanoma moles so I know it is important for me to get mine checked. If you do not know about your family history or what to look for I am posting pictures of BAD moles so that you can compare yours to them and see if you may need to get checked. This can save your life, so please just look and see what your moles are like and then get to the dermatologist (some gynecologists can check moles too).

Here is a chart to determine whether your mole could be Melanoma:

The ABCD of Melanoma
Asymmetry -- One half doesn't match the other half.
Color -- The pigmentation is not uniform. Shades of tan, brown, and black arepresent. Areas of red, white, and blue may add to the mottled appearance
Border irregularity -- The edges are ragged, notched, or blurred.
Diameter -- Most but not all melanomas are greater than six millimeters (about the size of a pencil eraser) when diagnosed.Regardless of size, any growth of a mole should be at least a reason to look at it carefully.

Here is a link to many pictures of cancerous moles:

http://www.dermatend.net/Cancerous_Moles/index.htmlCancerous_Moles/index.html

Here are a few that look semi-normal but probably are NOT:

Melanoma

Melanoma

MALIGNANT Melanoma

PhD or a Baby...Hmmm this is not a hard decision!

Well, I guess since Derek and I have been married a whole year now then the baby talk must come...but WHY!?!

I would love a baby --- if I did not have to birth, feed, pamper, clean after, or train it. Loving one is no problem, all the rest is. The thing is, I think people constantly asking you about it makes you want one more. In fact, my mother has given me an ultimatum - she needs a grandchild within 2 years. Of course, she is joking, but at the same time she has this crazy need to suddenly be an old woman (which is what a grandmother is you know)...I mean, why does she want to be old so fast? I don't! If I have a baby now, it stands to reason that I could be a grandmother at 44 or sooner...believe me, this is not my life plan. What is the hurry, if I am going to change from Crystal to "Mama" for the rest of my life, why not start later? I will be a mama until the day I die anyway, so why pro-long the sentence? I am terrified of getting pregnant unintentionally...this scares me every day and every month I go through a week of terror where I am absolutely positive I am pregnant, but really I am just PMSing...

Additionally, I am looking at PhD programs. Yay! =) I am excited about this option and would really like to pursue it - but with a needy child there will be no way. The schools I am looking at are:

1. The University of Texas at Austin*
2. The University of South Carolina
3. The University of North Carolina at Greensboro*
4. Florida State University*
5. The College of William and Mary*
6. The University of Tennessee
7. Auburn University

The four with stars are my favorite so far. I have one more year of my Masters program and the PhD Program I get in to (keep your fingers crossed) will take another 3-4 years. This means, I will be completely done with school when I am 27-28 years old. Then, maybe, I can have some kids - preferably by adoption but possibly, if I can stomach the idea, I will try and give birth....but don't get your hopes up too high right now.

Besides this here are a few short updates:

1. Derek and I have adopted Cookie, his parents mut dog. So now we have 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a bird.

2. I will not be working at Curves anymore after April and have taken yet another job with Big Brothers Big Sisters again and a third job with the Warren County Library asa genealogist...and I will also have a fourth job with the Warren County School System in the month of June...hopefully all of this will help our financial situation.

3. Derek's soccer team went to region, but they lost in the 1st round. That is okay thought because his boys played with integrity and the Benedictine boys were corrupted.

4. I am so excited that my shows are back on - Grey's, The Office, Big Shots, and Private Practice...and maybe Pushing Daisies???

5. I am getting a new boss in the President's Office at GCSU and am pretty scared about it.

6. I am trying to lose 10 pounds....I am not doing so hot right now. So, since I have a new affinity for alcohol I will probably start starving myself and replacing food calories with wine calories.

Dreaming

At this point in my life anyone would probably assume that I do not have crazy, imaginative, and sometimes down right scary as hell dreams. In fact, if you have known me for an extended period of time then you know that I am not very creative when it comes to decorating, colors, wrapping presents, etc. so then why in the world do I dream like I do --- I should seriously write novels out of each dream that I have because they are so descriptive, colorful, scary, intense... there are a few things that I dream about regularly:

First of all, if I am in a specific course - like The Crusades or The Salem Witch Outbreak of 1692, I usually dream about something related to the class. While studying the Crusades, I dreamt that Saladin was out to get me - many times. Currently I have been dreaming about a girl from the Salem Witch Trials - Susannah Sheldon. Apparently her spector/apparition is trying to afflict me because the dreams are quite scary and are about her specific "afflictions" during the trials. Of course she really was not experiencing afflictions ---- BUT I AM! I actually told Derek in my sleep the other night to watch out for the green snake because it would try to suck on him --- in the trial records Sheldon explains that she saw a man with a snake hanging off of his chest sucking on him...this is how she proved he was a wizard.

The second thing I dream about ona regular basis is water. Growing up around the lake and going camping I guess this is natural but these dreams are what we need to call night terrors. These are the ones that wake me up screaming, in tears, shaking, and sweating. I hate these dreams. The lake or ocean is always brown or black and normally I am only in very little clothes being pulled behind a boat or even sometimes big fish or whales. Most of the times these boats/fish/whales are not pleasant however, and they are trying to kill me. Does not sound very scary written out but believe me they are.

The third thing I dream about regularly are people that I grew up with. These dreams are always beautiful. I think it is a throw back to my high school days.... Merrie, Shay, Nicole, Stephanie and April are in these dreams as well as another special friend of mine from middle/high school...but anyways, these dreams are my favorite because they take me out of the world I am in for just a few moments and put me back in a place whereit is not scary, intense, or stressful (or as they say here in Sandersville "Skressful.")

The last thing I regularly dream about is the future --- sometimes good, sometimes bad. I will dream about people dying sometimes and other times I dream about my future children (God forbid...lol). So these dreams vary and do not come as often as the others.

ATL!!!....and some other random thoughts!

My precious husband is taking me to Atlanta this weekend for our one-year anniversary! But, we are not just going to Atlanta - we are taking Atlanta by storm! First of all, we are staying in the Georgian Terrace hotel - the one that hosted the after party for Margaret Mitchell and her posse after the premiere of Gone With the Wind! We are staying in a suite with a huge claw-foot tub and balcony! We are then dining at the SunDial restaurant (this is the 3-tier restaurant that revolves as you dine!) After that we are headed to see an improv show called SCANDEL! Then we will hit the clubs! On Saturday we will wake to breakfast at the Georgian Terrace. During the day we are scheduled to visit such places as the High Museum of Art and Chateau Elan for wine tasting and a cooking class! Saturday evening will also be one to remember because I get to dress up in my finest Ann Taylor black dress and...I don't know what is happening that night. He says he has other things in store too besides what I just mentioned so...I am mucho majorly excited!

Besides having the best husband in the world I have the best Best Friend in the world. Merrie, my best friend, has a tough job - because personally, I really don't know if I could be my best friend if I were someone else. I always have drama and people to talk about --- and if I don't have that then I want to hear about her drama, which she usually doesn't have - BUT, she had some today and it was so interesting to hear about! She is absolutely an angel and I am so glad we live closer than we have in 5 years and that we get to visit with each other frequently. Her husband Brian is cool too - he gets along with Derek and we all have a good time together. I am just really thankful that I have them, because, if you haven't realized this by now --- Slandersville gets pretty annoying if you have no one to vent about it too!

It is Not Right or Left...

"It is Not Right or Left....It is Right or Wrong."

Oh. My. God. - This is a billboard that is right across from the Dairy Lane in Sandersville. I just noticed it yesterday. It is right next to three other billboards that say the following:

1. "W"
2. "America: Pray For Our Troops."
3. "Elected Official's Spending is Out of Control."

All four signs are on a white background with red and blue block letters.

Now, I do not know who is responsible for these billboards but just for the record, I think it is incredibly offensive. Seriously, it makes me want to buy a billboard in Sandersville paint them with a white background and in rotating blue and red letters write out four letter explicatives! They probably want to see that just as much as I want to see their political beliefs smeared on billboards for all of "Middle Georgia" to admire!

On a brighter note, I am having an excellent day and am looking forward to starting Oprah's online classes tonight. Derek coaches soccer and his team has won 3 out of 4 games played and hopefully they will keep winning...it makes him happy! I am also looking into some doctoral programs which is scary, but hey, it doesn't hurt to look ahead of time does it?

Have a great afternoon!

Small Town Craziness

I live in a crazy place called Sandersville. Now crazy is not exactly the word that the average joe would use to describe this place in which I live, but, if you have lived here, worked here, or know people who have resided here for an extended period of time, then you know that it is a little off. So, I would like to take some time to describe this small town and some of the things that make it "crazy."

Sandersville is in the vicinity what us East Georgians from the Appling area like to refer to as "Middle Georgia." When an Augustan or Thomsonian resident refers to "Middle Georgia" the conotation is normally not that of respect, admiration, or even civility. It is more like we are saying "Middle Georgia...the last step down before Hell." Now, I don't mean to make it sound like everybody is like the Grinch and there is never any sunshine here - it is actually a pretty little town - but when all that surrounds you is Davisboro, Riddleville, and Tennille (pronouned Ten-el) and the biggest city closest to you is Dublin (gross) then you know that you may be in for some culture shock - even if you grew up in the middle of nowhere like I did.
See the thing is, small towns are obviously different from small towns and Metropolis's (like Atlanta?? lol) but they are also VERY different from a small rural community with hay bales, fields, cows, and no stop lights/signs (like Winfield, where I am from.) Here in Sandersville, you are lucky if you go a day without hearing your own business pouring from the lips of some random person (you may or may not know) walking in the square.
The first time I learned of Sandersville's "uniqueness" was from my neighbor, Robert, who referred to this lovely town as "SLANDERSVILLE." Well, at the time I had no clue why he would say such a thing about this quaint place...but I soon learned what he meant. I swear to God, people will talk to you about any and everybody they know anything good, bad, ugly, or incriminating about! It is so funny, I walked into an antique store here one day and a couple of ladies were talking about a couple they knew where the wife had cheated on her husband. They ask me if I know them - I don't - and they keep talking about the situation like they are talking about the weather, no big deal and who cares who hears right? Lord have mercy in that store I found out more about that one couple than I knew about my own relationship...and come to find out, the wife had only told her husband about the affair that same morning! Yeah, news travels fast right?
I also have a friend that teaches at the high school here. She is a cute, 22 year old that teaches junior tech-prep kids English. But, what is this whole town worried about with this girl? Is it her education, since she is educating their impressionable children? No. Is it her creative style that makes her classroom look like the Taj-Mahal compared to other classrooms? No. Well, I will tell you - they are worried because she is...drum roll please...UNMARRIED. They even had the audacity to announce this fact in a faculty meeting. It went something like this: Principal: "And this is our new English teacher Miss Conley." Person yelling in back of room: "Hey y'all she's not married!!!"
After living in Sandersville for a little while Derek and I decided we needed some excitement...so we got a dog. Penny Parten we named her (and now I regret it because that would be such a cute name for a little girl!) But anywho...we got this puppy, only 8 weeks old. Only, can you believe that daily I get comments on how BIG she has gotten, how much she eats, and how smart she is because of all the tricks she can do. This would be all fine and dandy, except the people who say these things do not live near me nor do I ever have Penny out of the fenced in backyard with them. So, either they are making small talk or they walk into my backyard and see my dog. Something creepy happened the other day - I went back to play with Penny and thought it would be a good time to teach her to roll over...but when I said roll over, she ALREADY KNEW HOW TO!!!! No joke, my dog knew a trick that me nor my husband had taught her. On top of that there are random toys that appear in her backyard and I don't know where they come from. Just this morning she had ripped to pieces a new red play toy that Derek and I had not bought her.
But, as much as people seem to be nosy around here you think they would get their information straight right? No. People still think that Miss Conley's dog is mine. Yes, she has a white bulldog named Ruby. She is like my 2nd daughter because she and Penny play all the time. But Ruby gets out a lot and runs around and gets in people's yard, etc. I had someone threaten me that they were going to spray my dog with pepper spray if I didn't do something about her --- come to find out they are talking about Ruby. Oh yes and if that doesn't do it for you, how about my husband being called out of the class he was teaching because someone complained about our dog being out. They actually call the high school and complain to the point that Derek leaves to go find Penny. But, the dog that was out was not Penny, it was Ruby. Crazy people.

Besides the dogs, constantly being reminded if I was or was not in church on Sunday, and having people chastise me about the leaves in my yard, Sandersville has some interesting quirks of its own that I must talk about.

#1. Dairy Lane: The Dairy Lane is a restaurant in town that has been around since right at 1950. This place serves burgers, shakes, BBQ, chicken, fries and the like. It is not a drive through but it is very much like fast food (the Jumbo burger is the best). This is not the interesting part though --- what is interesting is that when you walk in there are 2 distinct sides of the establishment. One is furnished well and has good lighting whereas the other part, the right hand side, has concrete flooring and wooden seats. People, this restaurant never renovated after integration. That is right, you can still see the segregated sections of Dairy Lane at each and every visit.

#2. Kaolin: Kaolin is what you make chalk out of. Sandersville is very proud of its Kaolin supply as it has more Kaolin than anywhere in the world it seems. Even driving down the road just a bit, cars get white dust all over them. Sandersville loves Kaolin so much that every October they have a Kaolin Festival. Unbeknownst to me until recently when Mr. Wilcox, my 7th grade history teacher, told me, Sandersville used to have the Kaolin 5-K race! Wow...so yeah, Kaolin is great. So great that even the Historical Society wants to build a Kaolin Museum. Great idea Sandersville - let's make kids think museums and history are even more boring and pointless!!! Oh...and one more thing....this little kid was telling me how her mama ate chalk and sometimes it would get on her nose, etc. Of course, Miss Educated as I would consider myself to be thought "Oh My God, this kids mom is doing crack right in front of her!!!" After further investigation I found out differently. People around here go to backroads where Kaolin is easy to get to and put the Kaolin in bags and bring it home and EAT IT!!! These people eat chalk! I am not lying, kids around here eat Kaolin for a snack! So kids, your chalk now has a double purpose - for decorating sidewalks AND fulfilling that after school hunger!!!

#3. Segregation: No, legally Sandersville is not segregated, but socially it very much is. A person was telling me a story just recently of how an African American friend of theirs came to preach at a church here one Sunday. Afterwards the friend was walking down the street and a white someone said to him "You ain't from around here are you?" The friend answered "No, I am just visiting from Atlanta." The white Slandersvillian followed up with "Yeah...I can tell...our N** (N-word)'s don't dress like that here!"....After hearing that story I am pretty ashamed of where I live. But really, you can see it everywhere - not only at the Dairy Lane - but in churches (except for the Episcopal Church), restaurants, the local shops on the square, and in the schools.

#4. Religious Nuts: I am not talking about holy pecans, no - I am talking about people who prefer only to talk about Christ, Our Lord, Holy God, and how they want to please him. These people are everywhere around here. I am not saying that it is not good to love your God but come on people, there is more to life than church, the Bible, and Charles Stanley. I would not say this except some people cannot even hold a normal conversation, not even small talk, without inserting how they are not good enough, how we are going to hell in a handbasket, or how many blessings have been bestowed upon them in the past 2 seconds. Sorry for the cinicism, but holy crap it gets annoying.

I guess Sandersville is like most small towns...Lincolnton, Washinton (Wilkes County), Thomson, etc. but I have never been so immersed in it like I am here. There are a few things I do like though - I have made some friends, Meg and Meghan to name 2. I work out at Curves which seems to be a great place for finding people more like myself. Ray Hollingsworth and his family - they have taken us fishing, brought us pecans, and have been genuinly friendly to us. Penny Parten - without her my life would be in complete. The Carriage House - only the best Antique Market I have ever shopped in - Ever. The PastTime Theatre: plays only one movie at a time but it is only $5.00 for a ticket and $4.00 for a large Coke and large popcorn -- awesome!

Well that is way more than enough for one day.