Yeah, this is pretty much how I feel today. First of all I will clean the house all day but I will not do the clothes!! They are so daunting! I HATE FOLDING, HANGING UP, WASHING, DRYING, and ORGANIZING CLOTHES!!!!! Give me a toilet to clean any day! Anyway....I had a physical at my house by my life insurance provider and she brought out a brand new, fancy scale. At first I thought, no problem, I know how much I weigh and I am okay with it. But no...the scale had to be new and weighed me differently than the old scales I have been using. So...I step on. It reads: 158.7. Shit.
When I got married I weighed 138-145 lbs (it fluctuated a lot right before I got married). But I worked really hard to get it down that low. So this means that after a year and 2 months of marriage I am 14-20 pounds heavier. What if I do this every year for the next 10 years? Let's see, let's say and average of 18 pounds a year for ten years I will weigh: 338 pounds! What about over the next 40 years?? I will weigh 878 POUNDS! AH!
So, I knew I had gained weight because my legs look like sausages instead of bean stalks but I didn't think I was nearly the heaviest I have ever been!! (I weighed 165 when I moved to Valdosta and lost it all...but now I am going to be right back up there!!!) So...what is the decision? Work out?...I really just do not have the patience right now. Drinking a lot of water? YES. Stop drinking alcohol? NO. Stop eating bread? NO NO NO. Limit portions? YES. Pizza? MAYBE. UGH...I hate the process of losing weight...and I hate it too because everyone always says "You don't need to lose weight!!" and then I just feel like I can eat whatever I want...So please, do not tell me I do not need to lose it, I DO...I weigh closer to 200 pounds than 100 so this is not hard to figure out, I need to lose weight. The healthy weight for my height is 135-155. I want to be at the 135.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
*~Summer~*
I am done with classes and my assistantship for the summer! Yay for keeping my 4.0 average! Derek and I will be working this summer - in Warren County teaching and organizing the youth activities at the church here because Nick, the youth director, is leaving.
I am considering finding a full-time job for next year. This semester was busy but my next 2 semester are going to be a piece of cake and I really should work if I can - and I can! So - the job search begins for a full-time, salaried job (benefits do not matter because I get those through Derek), and a little flexible for my 2 classes I am taking next semester. We will see what happens.
Daddy has a new boat - it is WONDERFUL and I love it so much ! We are going to have a blast on it this summer! We went to the lake yesterday but it was way to windy to do anything so Mama and I just sat around and talked, it was nice.
Things are going considerably well in Sandersville. It is Spring and so nice outside, we can walk the dogs alot. We are trying to keep our chins up because in reality Derek loves his job, I am doing great in school, and we are doing okay financially (and will do a lot better when I get a job!!!). So, between the two of us Sandersville is not bad - it is just some of the social politics that bother us sometimes, I guess the good part is, the politics do not touch us very often - but it is sad to see other people go through the slander-mill here.
Anyway - Derek and I are going to be in the community theatre play this summer - the last weekend in June I believe. I will be Rapunzel, a very small role, thank God. Derek is the Baker which is the lead role, of course, because my husband is such the talent!!! I am nervous, don't know why I am doing this - but Derek is so excited, he really loves getting on stage for singing, acting, or both. He is so gifted in those areas...unlike his wife. But, if you want a laugh, come see the play.
The end for this morning.
I am considering finding a full-time job for next year. This semester was busy but my next 2 semester are going to be a piece of cake and I really should work if I can - and I can! So - the job search begins for a full-time, salaried job (benefits do not matter because I get those through Derek), and a little flexible for my 2 classes I am taking next semester. We will see what happens.
Daddy has a new boat - it is WONDERFUL and I love it so much ! We are going to have a blast on it this summer! We went to the lake yesterday but it was way to windy to do anything so Mama and I just sat around and talked, it was nice.
Things are going considerably well in Sandersville. It is Spring and so nice outside, we can walk the dogs alot. We are trying to keep our chins up because in reality Derek loves his job, I am doing great in school, and we are doing okay financially (and will do a lot better when I get a job!!!). So, between the two of us Sandersville is not bad - it is just some of the social politics that bother us sometimes, I guess the good part is, the politics do not touch us very often - but it is sad to see other people go through the slander-mill here.
Anyway - Derek and I are going to be in the community theatre play this summer - the last weekend in June I believe. I will be Rapunzel, a very small role, thank God. Derek is the Baker which is the lead role, of course, because my husband is such the talent!!! I am nervous, don't know why I am doing this - but Derek is so excited, he really loves getting on stage for singing, acting, or both. He is so gifted in those areas...unlike his wife. But, if you want a laugh, come see the play.
The end for this morning.
Monday, April 21, 2008
MOLES...they can be scary
Yes, some moles can be rather cute - the ones that crawl in the ground and look like fat, stumpy blind mice. However, moles on your body are different and can be VERY scary if you do not watch them. It is VITAL that people, especially women, get their moles checked by a dermatologist - especially if you tan (in the sun or tanning bed), are outside a lot, do not wear sunscreen, or have a family history.
I have a a lot of moles - but 3 in particular on my tummy form a triangle shape and I have had them my whole life. I guess I have grown attached to them because I am so sad to get them taken off. However, I will be going on Thursday to get the moles removed because they all resemble moles that can be a pre-cursor to cancer. My mom, grandmother, and aunt have all had melanoma moles so I know it is important for me to get mine checked. If you do not know about your family history or what to look for I am posting pictures of BAD moles so that you can compare yours to them and see if you may need to get checked. This can save your life, so please just look and see what your moles are like and then get to the dermatologist (some gynecologists can check moles too).
Here is a chart to determine whether your mole could be Melanoma:
The ABCD of Melanoma
Asymmetry -- One half doesn't match the other half.
Color -- The pigmentation is not uniform. Shades of tan, brown, and black arepresent. Areas of red, white, and blue may add to the mottled appearance
Border irregularity -- The edges are ragged, notched, or blurred.
Diameter -- Most but not all melanomas are greater than six millimeters (about the size of a pencil eraser) when diagnosed.Regardless of size, any growth of a mole should be at least a reason to look at it carefully.
Asymmetry -- One half doesn't match the other half.
Color -- The pigmentation is not uniform. Shades of tan, brown, and black arepresent. Areas of red, white, and blue may add to the mottled appearance
Border irregularity -- The edges are ragged, notched, or blurred.
Diameter -- Most but not all melanomas are greater than six millimeters (about the size of a pencil eraser) when diagnosed.Regardless of size, any growth of a mole should be at least a reason to look at it carefully.
Here is a link to many pictures of cancerous moles:
Here are a few that look semi-normal but probably are NOT:
Melanoma
Melanoma
MALIGNANT MelanomaTuesday, April 15, 2008
PhD or a Baby...Hmmm this is not a hard decision!
Well, I guess since Derek and I have been married a whole year now then the baby talk must come...but WHY!?!
I would love a baby --- if I did not have to birth, feed, pamper, clean after, or train it. Loving one is no problem, all the rest is. The thing is, I think people constantly asking you about it makes you want one more. In fact, my mother has given me an ultimatum - she needs a grandchild within 2 years. Of course, she is joking, but at the same time she has this crazy need to suddenly be an old woman (which is what a grandmother is you know)...I mean, why does she want to be old so fast? I don't! If I have a baby now, it stands to reason that I could be a grandmother at 44 or sooner...believe me, this is not my life plan. What is the hurry, if I am going to change from Crystal to "Mama" for the rest of my life, why not start later? I will be a mama until the day I die anyway, so why pro-long the sentence? I am terrified of getting pregnant unintentionally...this scares me every day and every month I go through a week of terror where I am absolutely positive I am pregnant, but really I am just PMSing...
Additionally, I am looking at PhD programs. Yay! =) I am excited about this option and would really like to pursue it - but with a needy child there will be no way. The schools I am looking at are:
1. The University of Texas at Austin*
2. The University of South Carolina
3. The University of North Carolina at Greensboro*
4. Florida State University*
5. The College of William and Mary*
6. The University of Tennessee
7. Auburn University
The four with stars are my favorite so far. I have one more year of my Masters program and the PhD Program I get in to (keep your fingers crossed) will take another 3-4 years. This means, I will be completely done with school when I am 27-28 years old. Then, maybe, I can have some kids - preferably by adoption but possibly, if I can stomach the idea, I will try and give birth....but don't get your hopes up too high right now.
Besides this here are a few short updates:
1. Derek and I have adopted Cookie, his parents mut dog. So now we have 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a bird.
2. I will not be working at Curves anymore after April and have taken yet another job with Big Brothers Big Sisters again and a third job with the Warren County Library asa genealogist...and I will also have a fourth job with the Warren County School System in the month of June...hopefully all of this will help our financial situation.
3. Derek's soccer team went to region, but they lost in the 1st round. That is okay thought because his boys played with integrity and the Benedictine boys were corrupted.
4. I am so excited that my shows are back on - Grey's, The Office, Big Shots, and Private Practice...and maybe Pushing Daisies???
5. I am getting a new boss in the President's Office at GCSU and am pretty scared about it.
6. I am trying to lose 10 pounds....I am not doing so hot right now. So, since I have a new affinity for alcohol I will probably start starving myself and replacing food calories with wine calories.
I would love a baby --- if I did not have to birth, feed, pamper, clean after, or train it. Loving one is no problem, all the rest is. The thing is, I think people constantly asking you about it makes you want one more. In fact, my mother has given me an ultimatum - she needs a grandchild within 2 years. Of course, she is joking, but at the same time she has this crazy need to suddenly be an old woman (which is what a grandmother is you know)...I mean, why does she want to be old so fast? I don't! If I have a baby now, it stands to reason that I could be a grandmother at 44 or sooner...believe me, this is not my life plan. What is the hurry, if I am going to change from Crystal to "Mama" for the rest of my life, why not start later? I will be a mama until the day I die anyway, so why pro-long the sentence? I am terrified of getting pregnant unintentionally...this scares me every day and every month I go through a week of terror where I am absolutely positive I am pregnant, but really I am just PMSing...
Additionally, I am looking at PhD programs. Yay! =) I am excited about this option and would really like to pursue it - but with a needy child there will be no way. The schools I am looking at are:
1. The University of Texas at Austin*
2. The University of South Carolina
3. The University of North Carolina at Greensboro*
4. Florida State University*
5. The College of William and Mary*
6. The University of Tennessee
7. Auburn University
The four with stars are my favorite so far. I have one more year of my Masters program and the PhD Program I get in to (keep your fingers crossed) will take another 3-4 years. This means, I will be completely done with school when I am 27-28 years old. Then, maybe, I can have some kids - preferably by adoption but possibly, if I can stomach the idea, I will try and give birth....but don't get your hopes up too high right now.
Besides this here are a few short updates:
1. Derek and I have adopted Cookie, his parents mut dog. So now we have 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a bird.
2. I will not be working at Curves anymore after April and have taken yet another job with Big Brothers Big Sisters again and a third job with the Warren County Library asa genealogist...and I will also have a fourth job with the Warren County School System in the month of June...hopefully all of this will help our financial situation.
3. Derek's soccer team went to region, but they lost in the 1st round. That is okay thought because his boys played with integrity and the Benedictine boys were corrupted.
4. I am so excited that my shows are back on - Grey's, The Office, Big Shots, and Private Practice...and maybe Pushing Daisies???
5. I am getting a new boss in the President's Office at GCSU and am pretty scared about it.
6. I am trying to lose 10 pounds....I am not doing so hot right now. So, since I have a new affinity for alcohol I will probably start starving myself and replacing food calories with wine calories.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Dreaming
At this point in my life anyone would probably assume that I do not have crazy, imaginative, and sometimes down right scary as hell dreams. In fact, if you have known me for an extended period of time then you know that I am not very creative when it comes to decorating, colors, wrapping presents, etc. so then why in the world do I dream like I do --- I should seriously write novels out of each dream that I have because they are so descriptive, colorful, scary, intense... there are a few things that I dream about regularly:
First of all, if I am in a specific course - like The Crusades or The Salem Witch Outbreak of 1692, I usually dream about something related to the class. While studying the Crusades, I dreamt that Saladin was out to get me - many times. Currently I have been dreaming about a girl from the Salem Witch Trials - Susannah Sheldon. Apparently her spector/apparition is trying to afflict me because the dreams are quite scary and are about her specific "afflictions" during the trials. Of course she really was not experiencing afflictions ---- BUT I AM! I actually told Derek in my sleep the other night to watch out for the green snake because it would try to suck on him --- in the trial records Sheldon explains that she saw a man with a snake hanging off of his chest sucking on him...this is how she proved he was a wizard.
The second thing I dream about ona regular basis is water. Growing up around the lake and going camping I guess this is natural but these dreams are what we need to call night terrors. These are the ones that wake me up screaming, in tears, shaking, and sweating. I hate these dreams. The lake or ocean is always brown or black and normally I am only in very little clothes being pulled behind a boat or even sometimes big fish or whales. Most of the times these boats/fish/whales are not pleasant however, and they are trying to kill me. Does not sound very scary written out but believe me they are.
The third thing I dream about regularly are people that I grew up with. These dreams are always beautiful. I think it is a throw back to my high school days.... Merrie, Shay, Nicole, Stephanie and April are in these dreams as well as another special friend of mine from middle/high school...but anyways, these dreams are my favorite because they take me out of the world I am in for just a few moments and put me back in a place whereit is not scary, intense, or stressful (or as they say here in Sandersville "Skressful.")
The last thing I regularly dream about is the future --- sometimes good, sometimes bad. I will dream about people dying sometimes and other times I dream about my future children (God forbid...lol). So these dreams vary and do not come as often as the others.
First of all, if I am in a specific course - like The Crusades or The Salem Witch Outbreak of 1692, I usually dream about something related to the class. While studying the Crusades, I dreamt that Saladin was out to get me - many times. Currently I have been dreaming about a girl from the Salem Witch Trials - Susannah Sheldon. Apparently her spector/apparition is trying to afflict me because the dreams are quite scary and are about her specific "afflictions" during the trials. Of course she really was not experiencing afflictions ---- BUT I AM! I actually told Derek in my sleep the other night to watch out for the green snake because it would try to suck on him --- in the trial records Sheldon explains that she saw a man with a snake hanging off of his chest sucking on him...this is how she proved he was a wizard.
The second thing I dream about ona regular basis is water. Growing up around the lake and going camping I guess this is natural but these dreams are what we need to call night terrors. These are the ones that wake me up screaming, in tears, shaking, and sweating. I hate these dreams. The lake or ocean is always brown or black and normally I am only in very little clothes being pulled behind a boat or even sometimes big fish or whales. Most of the times these boats/fish/whales are not pleasant however, and they are trying to kill me. Does not sound very scary written out but believe me they are.
The third thing I dream about regularly are people that I grew up with. These dreams are always beautiful. I think it is a throw back to my high school days.... Merrie, Shay, Nicole, Stephanie and April are in these dreams as well as another special friend of mine from middle/high school...but anyways, these dreams are my favorite because they take me out of the world I am in for just a few moments and put me back in a place whereit is not scary, intense, or stressful (or as they say here in Sandersville "Skressful.")
The last thing I regularly dream about is the future --- sometimes good, sometimes bad. I will dream about people dying sometimes and other times I dream about my future children (God forbid...lol). So these dreams vary and do not come as often as the others.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
ATL!!!....and some other random thoughts!
My precious husband is taking me to Atlanta this weekend for our one-year anniversary! But, we are not just going to Atlanta - we are taking Atlanta by storm! First of all, we are staying in the Georgian Terrace hotel - the one that hosted the after party for Margaret Mitchell and her posse after the premiere of Gone With the Wind! We are staying in a suite with a huge claw-foot tub and balcony! We are then dining at the SunDial restaurant (this is the 3-tier restaurant that revolves as you dine!) After that we are headed to see an improv show called SCANDEL! Then we will hit the clubs! On Saturday we will wake to breakfast at the Georgian Terrace. During the day we are scheduled to visit such places as the High Museum of Art and Chateau Elan for wine tasting and a cooking class! Saturday evening will also be one to remember because I get to dress up in my finest Ann Taylor black dress and...I don't know what is happening that night. He says he has other things in store too besides what I just mentioned so...I am mucho majorly excited!
Besides having the best husband in the world I have the best Best Friend in the world. Merrie, my best friend, has a tough job - because personally, I really don't know if I could be my best friend if I were someone else. I always have drama and people to talk about --- and if I don't have that then I want to hear about her drama, which she usually doesn't have - BUT, she had some today and it was so interesting to hear about! She is absolutely an angel and I am so glad we live closer than we have in 5 years and that we get to visit with each other frequently. Her husband Brian is cool too - he gets along with Derek and we all have a good time together. I am just really thankful that I have them, because, if you haven't realized this by now --- Slandersville gets pretty annoying if you have no one to vent about it too!
Besides having the best husband in the world I have the best Best Friend in the world. Merrie, my best friend, has a tough job - because personally, I really don't know if I could be my best friend if I were someone else. I always have drama and people to talk about --- and if I don't have that then I want to hear about her drama, which she usually doesn't have - BUT, she had some today and it was so interesting to hear about! She is absolutely an angel and I am so glad we live closer than we have in 5 years and that we get to visit with each other frequently. Her husband Brian is cool too - he gets along with Derek and we all have a good time together. I am just really thankful that I have them, because, if you haven't realized this by now --- Slandersville gets pretty annoying if you have no one to vent about it too!
Monday, March 3, 2008
It is Not Right or Left...
"It is Not Right or Left....It is Right or Wrong."
Oh. My. God. - This is a billboard that is right across from the Dairy Lane in Sandersville. I just noticed it yesterday. It is right next to three other billboards that say the following:
1. "W"
2. "America: Pray For Our Troops."
3. "Elected Official's Spending is Out of Control."
All four signs are on a white background with red and blue block letters.
Now, I do not know who is responsible for these billboards but just for the record, I think it is incredibly offensive. Seriously, it makes me want to buy a billboard in Sandersville paint them with a white background and in rotating blue and red letters write out four letter explicatives! They probably want to see that just as much as I want to see their political beliefs smeared on billboards for all of "Middle Georgia" to admire!
On a brighter note, I am having an excellent day and am looking forward to starting Oprah's online classes tonight. Derek coaches soccer and his team has won 3 out of 4 games played and hopefully they will keep winning...it makes him happy! I am also looking into some doctoral programs which is scary, but hey, it doesn't hurt to look ahead of time does it?
Have a great afternoon!
Oh. My. God. - This is a billboard that is right across from the Dairy Lane in Sandersville. I just noticed it yesterday. It is right next to three other billboards that say the following:
1. "W"
2. "America: Pray For Our Troops."
3. "Elected Official's Spending is Out of Control."
All four signs are on a white background with red and blue block letters.
Now, I do not know who is responsible for these billboards but just for the record, I think it is incredibly offensive. Seriously, it makes me want to buy a billboard in Sandersville paint them with a white background and in rotating blue and red letters write out four letter explicatives! They probably want to see that just as much as I want to see their political beliefs smeared on billboards for all of "Middle Georgia" to admire!
On a brighter note, I am having an excellent day and am looking forward to starting Oprah's online classes tonight. Derek coaches soccer and his team has won 3 out of 4 games played and hopefully they will keep winning...it makes him happy! I am also looking into some doctoral programs which is scary, but hey, it doesn't hurt to look ahead of time does it?
Have a great afternoon!
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